The Silence of Our Friends

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

What is wrong with you internets???

OR...Is it me???

I swear, today everything I am reading confuses me. For one thing on tumblr a lot of what I am reading is dialogues/conversations, and I can not follow. I can't tell who is saying what to who (or is that whom? Someone explain who and whom to me again, please.) And other bloggity stuff is just not making sense, as if it's not even in English, although it is. I hate that I have days where my brain no longer works, it's just putt-putt-puttered out. It reminds me, before my blogging break, I would be reading friends blogs or watching conversations in the comments, and think to myself, "These people are so far beyond me." I generally knew what the post/discussion was about, but couldn't quite wrap my head around the concepts. It's kind of scary. I know I was very bright when I was younger. I did well in school without even trying. I used to have a near photographic memory when reading. I'm serious, I could bring up a page I had read in a textbook weeks ago during my exam and "re-read it" to get to the part I needed to know for the answer. I no longer have this ability. In fact, if you ask me the plot of a book I read a week ago, might not remember it, or characters, or even the title and author. I've had moments when I have worried that people think I'm a liar because of my bad memory. I know that part of the cause is my meds, but I think part of it is getting older too, and that frightens me, because I worry about how much more I will forget.

And...back to the internets. Yesterday everything I read made me mad. I finally caught up on the Amanda Palmer (formerly of the Dresden Dolls) ableist, classist bullshit. Saw the lastest transmisogyny via Lady Gaga/Beyonce's Telephone video. And for some racism read up on Victorientalism in Steam Punk. Some days I wonder why I bother getting online!

So yesterday everything made me mad. Today everything confused me. I just can't wait to see how tomorrow's internets are going to screw with me!