Moving!There have been some interesting developments in the last week or two. We will be moving out east again! I'm a little bummed that it isn't Connecticut, but my husband was offered a transfer to New Hampshire and we are taking it.
About two years ago my husband and I had a huge argument. I was ready to leave him and go back home without him. The funny thing is after it was quiet again, he asked me if he could go with me! LOL Once I thought about it, it made sense. I wasn't unhappy with him, I was unhappy with being so far away from my friends and family. I only have superficial friends in Wisconsin no one I ever really felt close with. Those of you who have read my blog over the last few months probably know more about me and my feelings than my neighbors who have known of me for years. We only live in Wisconsin because it is near his friends and family. I assumed they would be as supportive of him (and by extension me and the kids) as my family would have been. They have NOT! When we first moved here his sister and her family lived less than an hour away, she rarely visited us, and when we called to ask her to come, or see if we were welcome there, she either made excuses or you could tell she was inviting us but wasn't exactly thrilled about it. So we finally just stopped going there or inviting her to our place. Then we found out that his parents had been coming down from Michigan to visit her and her family and didn't even bother telling us. Didn't come to see us, and didn't tell us they would be there so we could make arrangements to come to see them either. I always knew I wasn't exactly accepted, up where my husband is from is a tiny insular community, and I think they expected him to marry someone from there. Another sister married a man from Missouri and he said he got the same treatment as I did, we are outsiders. So the family support and love I expected wasn't there, not even for him, so what the hell are we doing here? Well, at least he had his friends, only he didn't. They have drifted away over the years and don't have the same interests as they did when they were kids growing up together. And to top it off he hates his work, together with the guys he works with there is alot of drama like they are a disfunctional family, and the supervisor is a micromanager who doesn't appreciate anything that goes right but comes down on them hard when anything goes wrong. So again, why are we here???
So he put in for transfers to Hartford, CT; Providence, RI; and Manchester, NH. We got Manchester! So if I am not around much it's because I have to spend my time packing and cleaning instead of blogging.
My husband still has mixed feelings about the move. And I don't blame him because I have them too but for different reasons. He still doesn't want to leave his friends and family especially his mother. His father passed away so she lives alone now and needs him more. That's what pisses me off. I'm sure she loves him in her way, but now suddenly she thinks it's important to see "us", and just happens to need some plumbing done, or her car needs a tune up, or she can't handle some insurance forms and he can help her with that, but of course her invites aren't really all about that, suuuuuuuure. My husband is one of those people who does like being needed though. I don't have a problem with helping the people you love, and if I can do something for my friends or family, I will and be happy to do so. BUT my friends and family do not expect it every time they see me! They are happy to see me and my family just to see me and my family, not because I can do this or that for them while I am there!
My mixed feelings are just about how much work is involved especially since I have the herniated disks in my neck, and more importantly the kids. They are friendly and likeable and I think they will make friends easily in NH, but I can't be certain of that or that they will like their school. The biggest reason for staying is because of how happy they are here. A move is easier for little kids, but next year they will both be in high school. That's where everyone is settled into their cliques and have friends they have known since they were 8 or 10 etc. I wish I had a crystal ball and could see how things are going to turn out. If it's going to be a disaster for them, I'd rather put up with Wisconsin for 4 more years. Well, it's too late now anyway since my husband already accepted the promotion.
Wish us luck!