The Silence of Our Friends

Friday, December 29, 2006

Other People Say Things I Missed

Many times these internet brawls have me thinking of many things at once and when I sit down to write I forget some of them. That is what happened with my last post, although I did say much of what I wanted to say too.

In the thread linked at Women of Color Blog, belledame222 said this:
"what it reminds me of, again: rigidly religious people who are trying to cling to their idea of themselves as brimming over with Christian charity, full of luv and compassion and not bigoted at all and “we’re all sinners,” of course, none of us worse than any other…and yet simultaneously defending homophobic prejudices, justifying it with something along the lines of,

“People can do what they want, I guess, but I just don’t agree with that lifestyle. And, just because think marriage is between a man and a woman doesn’t make me HOMOPHOBIC, and I resent being called that. [I Am Not A Bad Person].”

to which the answer is:

There’s nothing to -agree- with, and it isn’t a -lifestyle.- It’s my LIFE. You are putting your BELIEF against my LIFE, my BEING, as though they were equivalent. No one is arguing about whether -you- have the right to get married to the person you love. Or, in this case: no one is arguing about whether -you- have the right to go to the bathroom in public in peace. You have that privilege–yes, i said PRIVILEGE–regardless of who wins this fight; you do not have the same stakes invested in it. It is NOT equivalent.

Which, when you say this to such people, the response, as here, is usually:

1) Defensive anger/wounded martyrdom/make it about Me and how I’m being Misunderstood, again
2) -crickets crickets-, address something tangential instead."

And now you must go read this post by R.Mildred, There is no cannibalism in left blogistan. Further into the post R.Mildred explains how she felt about the burqa skirmish, and about empathy. Both belledame222 and R.Mildred are saying pretty much the same thing, that it isn't possible to agree to disagree when we are discussing whether someone deserves to be treated as a human being or not. It isn't possible for either of them to just let it pass when they see someone's basic humanity is being denied. It isn't a disagreement over a matter of opinion - do transgender people deserve dignity? how about muslim women or people of color in general? Arguing with these people over this is like arguing about whether the Earth is flat. Which is why this is so mind boggling, we are talking about supposed allies, supposed feminists, and supposed liberals not living-in-the-12th-century-conservatives. Over at IBTP they wanted to label transwomen as inhuman monsters, but check the part about whitemail in R.Mildred's post, she knows who the real inhuman monsters are.

And back to why WOC don't identify with what passes for feminism, who could say it better than BlackAmazon? No one! Here are two great posts on the subject -
AND ..................I QUIT!
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

8 comment(s):

Arg! I've been sick for a week, trying to get the Koufax site together, and I miss this? I can't even find the original post now. Throw your nidobaskwa a bone, will ya?

By Anonymous MB, at 12/29/2006 10:28 AM  

Ugh, I found it. Now I feel like I need to take a shower.

By Anonymous MB, at 12/29/2006 11:33 AM  

YES.

By Blogger little light, at 12/29/2006 2:02 PM  

mb, I've been sick with a stomach flu since tuesday. I was finally feeling better yesterday, at least enough to read some and get a couple posts up. I hope you are feeling better now, it's horrible being sick during the holidays.

little light, welcome to my little corner of the internet!

By Blogger Donna, at 12/29/2006 3:21 PM  

ack. hoping everyone feels better soon! stomach issues are teh suckage, esp. over the hols, yes.

By Blogger belledame222, at 12/29/2006 8:47 PM  

Awww Donna & mb, you poor girls...Ginger tea, made strong with a fresh root, with Honey or even better with Maple Syrup.

By Anonymous sunrunner, at 12/30/2006 9:31 PM  

Sun, my infliction is respiratory, so I'll skip the ginger, if that's okay ;-). I consumed enough ginger during my pregnancies (to tamp down my nausea - never worked, unfortunately) that I cringe every time I prepare a stirfry.

By Anonymous MB, at 12/31/2006 12:13 AM  

I don't have the fresh ginger root so I decided to try the powder, and it actually is helping. It seems this stomach flu has boomeranged on me and my son because we seemed to be getting well and then got it again and now my oldest son also has it.

By Blogger Donna, at 12/31/2006 4:19 PM  

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