Still More Family DramaSorry I haven't posted anything recently. I'm still dealing with some of the family drama aftermath, and have just regular stuff to do around here too.
Much thanks to those who have stopped by to offer their support. I really do appreciate it!
My dad is still messing around with my sister's head. He stopped by her house, she assumed because he was worried about her, not so much. He came to ask her husband to come work on HIS house and pretty much blew her off.
This is part of the complicated mess that I alluded to earlier. Since my father remarried, they treat her side of the family much better than ours, but if there is any work to be done they come to our side of the family, because the princes and princesses must not get their hands dirty. In other words, unconditional love for her side of the family, but we are treated like crap but get nothing for our troubles except dad bitching at us for not being good enough. It's not that we expect anything, we don't, but the way my father has always shown his love is through money. So it says alot about what he thinks of us vs. them. They've been coddled their whole lives with their college completely paid for, weddings, and hand outs when they find themselves in financial difficulty. We know better than to even ask; so student loans and hard work paid for college/nursing school for us, we paid for our own weddings, and no help what-so-ever even during some very desperate times. I told my husband when we were struggling that I could not ask, because he would hold it over our heads for the rest of our lives. He'd probably only send $50 anyway but we would hear, "I helped you out when you really needed it and now you refuse to kiss my ass????" anytime he wanted something from us, so it was better to figure out some other way than get anything from him. There are always strings attached where he is concerned.
When he wants something it's the opposite. They have moved several times and each time it is our side of the family that helps them pack, clean, move, fix up the new residence. Her family is nowhere in sight. He told us that he wanted to have a family reunion. He is originally from Buffalo, NY and much of his family is still there. He and my sisters are in CT. Other relatives are in the south. So it takes alot of planning to get this thing to work. But he proceeded to do nothing about it, and started dropping hints that he expected us to plan it. We did, hours of planning, calling distant relatives, making all the arrangements since he wouldn't get off his butt to do anything. It cost us all huge amounts of money and our vacation time for the year, but we did it. When he plans anything else, like holiday parties, it is up to our side of the family to make the elaborate dishes while hers shows up with a bag of chips or 12 pack of soda. You get the idea...
Anyway, when I wrote that letter to him, I told him this. That we saw the differences and saw how he uses us vs asking nothing of them. I thought since he disowned us that it would at least put a stop to it, but no. After sending a nasty letter to us all, he shows up at her house unexpected. She's thinking he wants to make it up to her, but he takes off to find her husband next door. She thought he was just going to say hello but no, she's waiting waiting waiting. He finally comes back and tells her he is still mad and leaves. She found out from her husband that he asked him to help fix up his latest house! That is all he came for! The hardest part for me is that he picked her to do this to. She is the one hurting the most and so it left her more confused and hurt than ever. Un-fucking-believeable.